just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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