paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
