Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
