Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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