so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
