you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
