the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i barfeds in our rink
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
