I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
