Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
