pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
a search helicopter?!
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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