there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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