Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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