I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
