yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
