fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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