Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
