The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
