I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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