I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
