That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
