I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Randomize
