i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
