Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
