she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Two words: nipple clamps
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