ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Randomize
