I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
