i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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