I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
