it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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