she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I forgot how hot balto sounded
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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