If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
