he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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