i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
