dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
tonight lets celebrate not being married
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
