i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
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