I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
