it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize