i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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