so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
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