I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
