So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I AM VODKA MAN
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
