New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
