Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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