I'm jealous of your bromance
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
