ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
