Please don't use social media to get back at me.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
