I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
