Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
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