Small penises have feelings too.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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