i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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